I am So Tired!

Are you exhausted?

If you are like so many people I know you are wearing yourself out to “get stuff done.”

Today I want to challenge you to ask yourself the question, “Is it worth it?”

Are these things that I’m doing worth my energy, my time, and my health?

When you are exhausted, you’re not doing your best work, you are not connecting with others well, and you’re not ready to meet the challenges of the day.

Are the tasks you are doing right now that are wearing you out worth that to you?

Is the trade off worth it? 

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p.s. Have you ever wanted to have a life-coach, but didn’t know where to start?  A little think-time can change your life.

DSC_0051.jpgThink Time Life-Coaching Planners guide you through the process of clarifying who you want to be and creating an actionable plan to get you there.

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See the Positive.

When you are interacting with people, do you naturally see the positive or the negative?

When you are talking about people with others, what do you say?  Do you tend to comment on the positive or the negative? 

What we often don’t realize sometimes is that when we speak negatively about somebody, it says more about us than them.

Everyone has positive. Everyone has negative. What we see is a reflection of what is in our hearts. What we highlight to others reflects what is inside us.

Take some think-time today to dwell on the positive traits of those in your life.

The more you think about them, the more these positive traits will dwell in your heart and will come out of your mouth as life-giving words.

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p.s. Have you ever wanted to have a life-coach, but didn’t know where to start?  A little think-time can change your life.

DSC_0051.jpgThink Time Life-Coaching Planners guide you through the process of clarifying who you want to be and creating an actionable plan to get you there.

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Eye Contact

We live in the Digital Age.

We have many advances and really cool things we can do now.

However, what is one thing that has changed?

Eye contact.

It is through eye contact that we connect with those around us.

It is through eye contact that we step out of our own lives and into the world of another.

It is through eye contact that we know and are known.

As you move throughout your week, be aware of your eyes and the eyes of others.  Are you making meaningful life-giving connections, or are you missing them?

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p.s. Have you ever wanted to have a life-coach, but didn’t know where to start?  A little think-time can change your life.

DSC_0051.jpgThink Time Life-Coaching Planners guide you through the process of clarifying who you want to be and creating an actionable plan to get you there.

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“That’s When The Kids Came.” On Repurposing Our Goals.

Life is not all about achieving our goals.

It’s about living our lives.

Sometimes we set aside our goals for a time to live more fully focused on what matters more.  In other words, we repurpose our goals…we shift our focus.


I was recently talking with a friend who adopted a sibling set of three a few years ago.  She was describing their move to the city and all of the renovations she and her husband completed on their home.  Then, she described a specific location where the renovations stopped.

“That’s when the kids came.”

Her adoption process turned out to involve an incredibly short wait, and when her kids arrived, there was no turning back to finish renovations!

There was not a hint of regret in her voice.  It was clear where her priorities were.  Welcoming these precious kids into her life immediately took precedence over home renovations. What had been important a month earlier now was not even being considered for time and attention.

This is good.

We do well to constantly reevaluate our priorities according to our season of life and adjusting accordingly.

Life is meant to be lived to the full in the present.


Do you have some things on your calendar that reflect old priorities?  Do your best to let these go and focus fully on your current season of life.

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p.s. Have you ever wanted to have a life-coach, but didn’t know where to start?  A little think-time can change your life.

DSC_0051.jpgThink Time Life-Coaching Planners guide you through the process of clarifying who you want to be and creating an actionable plan to get you there.

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Questions to Ask Yourself to Get Out of a Slump

Sometimes, you feel down.

Or anxious.

Sometimes, your thinking is not sharp and your energy is low.

You are in a slump.

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You don’t know what is causing this.  You just know you have been at your best before, and you are not there now.  Whatever you are feeling, you know it can be better…because it has been better.

If your energy is low…your spirits down…your brain foggy…or you are stuck in high gear and you can’t seem to shift out of it, take a minute to ask yourself these following self-care questions.

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You may be surprised how these impact your life–more than you might think.

  1. Am I exercising vigorously regularly (30+ minutes 3-5 times a week)?
  2. Am I sleeping adequately (7.5 + hours each night).
  3. Am I eating healthily?
  4. Am I staying hydrated throughout the day–even during the busy part?
  5. Am I making time for relaxed, connecting time with friends.
  6. Am I playing and having fun?
  7. Am I making time for my spiritual life?
  8. Am I prioritizing what is important across all areas of my life?
  9. Am I disciplining my mind to think primarily about things that are inside my control–rather than spinning my mind on things outside my control?
  10. Am I intentionally forgiving people who have hurt me?
  11. Am I breathing deeply throughout the day?
  12. Am I saying “yes” and “no” freely?
  13. Am I thankful?

These will not solve every problem,* but making basic lifestyle and thinking habit changes will help you more than you might think.

What about you?  Do you have a story to share about how self-care helped get you out of a slump?  Please encourage others with your story below!

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*If you feel really “down,” “anxious,” or “foggy,” please talk to your doctor and/or counselor immediately.  This blog is not medical advice.

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Think Time 3DR Program

Life is moving fast.  You are losing valuable time.  We have created an innovative process that helps you to dream bigger, get more time for what matters most, and become who you want to be.

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Learn how to get out of your slump by adding healthy self-care into your routines with our Think Time Programs with online training and ongoing support here.

 

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4 Reasons Why You Need to Delegate from Your Team’s Perspective By: Bryan Miles, CEO and Co-founder of BELAY

It’s easy to get caught up in your new ability to delegate, that you forget about the other side of equation — how your team feels when it comes to your delegation. Have you ever wondered what they might be thinking as you entrust your tasks and responsibilities to them? Their perception is a key part of the delegation equation.

You’re ability to delegate to others is only one side of it. When you delegate to a team member, you must remember to keep your team’s perspective in mind, too.

Delegation From Your Team’s Perspective

In the journey of working to create ideal working relationships, we stopped and asked ourselves a very hard question … what is it like to be on the “other” side of my delegation?

Below are the top 4 things I have discovered that employees wish their leaders knew:

1)  Employees really hunger to know the WHY behind the WHAT of the tasks they are being asked to do.  Helping your employees to know and understand the WHY will most-always produce successful outcomes.

2)  People don’t mind being led as long as they feel appreciated along the way.  Be conscience to show your gratitude for their time and efforts and celebrate their accomplishments.

3)  Know what makes your team tick.  Is it words of affirmation, a flexible schedule, public recognition, or time off?  Take the time to know and understand your team and their needs and you will create a strong working relationship and a loyal employee.

4)  Be someone your team and or employees WANT to like and they will follow you and support you in all you do.

Remember, don’t forget that you are successful on the hard work of others. If you have their back, and they believe it, they’ll have your back!

Ready to start delegating? Download the Delegation Matrix

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Bryan Miles, CEO and Co-founder of BELAY

A Virtual Assistant Company Helping You Climb Higher

Easily identify the tasks that only you can do (and what others can do for you) with Belay’s Delegation Download.

Special Offers from Belay and Think Time:

Watch our free webinar with Belay: “The Art of Delegation.”

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5 Steps to Becoming An Effective Delegator

By Guest Writer: Bryan Miles, CEO and Co-founder of BELAY

Delegation may not always come naturally to you, and for some of us, we are constantly trying to perfect this area of leadership. It’s worth striving for perfection because when you have motivated people who trust you, you’ll see your business propelled forward. Simon Sinek says this of delegation: “You have to earn trust by communicating and demonstrating that you share the same values and beliefs. You have to talk about your WHY and prove it with WHAT you do. Again, a WHY is just a belief, HOWs are the actions we take to realize that belief, and WHATs are the results of those actions. When all three are in balance, trust is built and value is perceived.”

Here are a few key points that I have realized over the years to help me perfect my “Art of Delegation”. Take what works for you and make it your own in your journey to building trust with your team.

Start With the End in Mind

1)  Delegation to me is “beginning with the end in mind.”  Meaning … asking those on my team to execute tasks that serve an ultimate purpose and either solve a problem or move our business forward.  Assigning these tasks help me free up space/time in my day so that I can take care of the “one-offs” and critical daily tasks that I, as a Leader, need to attend to.

2)  When you delegate, delegate a result not a task.  What is the end result that you are looking for?  Give your teammate and/or employee the opportunity to work toward a goal and then celebrate the result with them.  Not only will you give them something to celebrate but you have also given them a sense of ownership and responsibility for their projects/efforts.

3)  Don’t delegate things you love doing.  In most cases, the things you HATE to do take more time to do and distract you from the goals you are working toward.  Delegate those tasks to team members who are more qualified and or patient and willing to execute those items so you won’t be bogged down by doing them.

4)  Express to your team the WHY behind the WHAT so they can feel passionate about the projects they are executing. Understand that people will strive and toil … and the WHY can fuel them.

5)  Be mindful of the tasks you ask others to execute (from a timing and knowledge-base perspective) and express gratitude to them when tasks are complete.  This creates a greater relationship with you and your employees and makes you someone they will want to follow.

You don’t have to jump in with all these ideas at once. Try a few out and see what happens when you focus on the why behind your tasks and the ultimate result you want with each delegation assignment.

The art of delegation isn’t just about you as a leader though and how you divvy out assignments. Delegating is about knowing your team and the powerful part they play in the process. When employees know your motivation and recognize your trust, they feel more connected to the mission of your business. When there is trust, you will then see a healthier bottom line, which translates directly into everyone’s success.

In our next blog, we delve into understanding the role your employees play in delegation.

Bryan Miles Head Shot 2017

Bryan Miles, CEO and Co-founder of BELAY

A Virtual Assistant Company Helping You Climb Higher

Easily identify the tasks that only you can do (and what others can do for you) with Belay’s Delegation Download.

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On Life Balance: Protect Your Health (2/6)

One thing we can never delegate to anyone else is protecting our health.

Only we can control what we eat, when we go to bed, and how much we exercise.

The necessity of protecting our health is just about as much of a scientific “law” as gravity.  Sure there are variables, but the big picture is–ignore your body’s need for health and it will break down.

Rather than repeat what other writers have eloquently stated regarding eating better foods, sleeping adequately, and exercising well, I am going to share with you two stories in the next two blogs.

Two thought leaders I really respect have stories of seasons in their lives in which they thought they could cheat the “law of health.”  These seasons of their lives became pivotal points of change and dramatically altered the rest of their live’s timelines–their mission and their audience

I will tell you the first story today.

It is of a pastor– Tommy Nelson.

Tommy graduated from my alma mater and spoke on his experience when I was a student.  He is a globally known pastor and teacher.  Among other things, he is known for his series on the Song of Solomon, leading a top notch mentorship program, and a definitive country accent.  Extremely driven and disciplined, for years, he kept an incredibly rigorous schedule.

…until he got “hijacked” by something.

He had no idea what it was.

Before he experienced it, he didn’t know it existed.

After going through “it,” however, he discovered that theologians Charles Spurgeon and Martin Luther, scientist Sir Isaac Newton and many other world-shakers had experienced the same thing.  A recent Newsweek article stated that half of the fortune 500 CEOs had had it.  Next, 80+ billion dollars was lost in one year due to lost wages and time off of work because of it.

He described “it” as a “joyless, agoraphobic black hole… a hopeless, despairing spiral.    It is scary.  It is lonely.”

Tommy had pain all over his body.  He found himself unable to think.  He was on a fetal position on the floor.  He went to the hospital twice but was told his health was perfect.

“I couldn’t sleep from May until November.”

He expected it to go away, but instead over months it only escalated.

Though initially resistant, he finally sought help with a counselor and a psychiatrist.  The psychiatrist told him that he was “a garden variety of depression and anxiety that comes from hyper-stress over years.  Finally, your body says, ‘That’s all.'”

His psychiatrist educated him about the neurotransmitter Serotonin.  “Serotonin allows your central nervous system to function.”  Stress depletes Serotonin.  Continued stress will eliminate it.  “It’s like an engine that doesn’t have oil.  The phenomena is called, ‘depression’ or the flip side is ‘acute anxiety.'”

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Tommy shared, “I didn’t know you could get totally burned out doing something you loved.”

He kept an insane schedule every day of the week writing books, counseling, mentoring, and speaking all over the country.

“I was at the top of my game.”

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The doctor told him he would need to deal with his schedule.  He also started him on medicines called SSRIs that prevented the reuptake of Serotonin so his body would not continue to deplete its supply.

Tommy also saw a counselor who “had been there.”  He said the counselor could help “talk him down because he understood.”

After about a month of the medicine, Tommy said, “Something lifted.”  A month later, he experienced “feeling good” again.  The next month, he began preaching again.

“You don’t feel different.  You feel like you.”

I had to cut out about 60% of my schedule, but the happiness came back.

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“What did I learn from this?”

“I learned to rest.”

“I learned that you can get completely burned out doing what you love.”

“I learned that we can’t take anything for granted.  You can get screwed up really quick.”

“Finally, I learned empathy.  So many people have gone or are going through this.  I had pastored the church since 1977 and people in my congregation came out of the woodwork.  They described the same ‘fetal position on the floor’ experience I had had.”

 

What did Tommy want people in the helping professions like the pastors and counselors in our school to learn?

#1 “Rest.”

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#2 Be aware of your culture.  “Our culture produces stress like sweets produce decay.”

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#3 Be aware of yourself. “Quite often people fall into this out of feelings of great responsibility.”

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Tommy also shared that he wanted people to not be resistant to taking medicine.  “Our mind is not a given.  It is not this separate entity.  Our mind is affected by a lot of things.”

Years later, Tommy later shared with his congregation that he was still unable to get off of his medicine.  He felt like this would be something that he may need to deal with for the rest of his life.

At times, a prolonged season of stress–this can stem from unresolved grief, doing too much of what we love, emotional stress, or simply always being over-busy–can impact the rest of our entire lives.

Tommy’s counselor shared with him that many of the people who go through a depression like he experienced also go through a divorce during that time.  “When they said ‘for better or for worse,’ they weren’t thinking this.”

Tommy expressed thankfulness that his wife stuck with him through the entire experience.  (Maybe it had something to do with all of his decades of work in applying what he taught on Romance from the Song of Solomon.)  ; )

What are your thoughts?  Is it a new idea to think that too much of a good thing could bring such a dramatic health crisis to your life?  Have you walked through this with a loved one?  Please comment and share.

Next time, I’ll share a story about how pushing too hard led to a physical health crisis and what one man did about it.

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Christine M. Wilson, LPC
Co-Founder, Think Time

Tweetable  Blog Highlights

One thing we can never delegate to anyone else is protecting our health. Read more: http://ow.ly/B3Wd30jHunz

Only we can control what we eat, when we go to bed, and how much we exercise. Read more: http://ow.ly/B3Wd30jHunz

The necessity of protecting our health is just about as much of a scientific “law” as gravity. Read more: http://ow.ly/B3Wd30jHunz

“I didn’t know you could get totally burned out doing something you loved.” –Tommy Nelson @dentonbible

[I was not expecting this.] “I was at the top of my game.” –Tommy Nelson @dentonbible Read more: http://ow.ly/B3Wd30jHunz

“Our mind is affected by a lot of things.”  –Tommy Nelson @dentonbible Read more: http://ow.ly/B3Wd30jHunz

Stress depletes Serotonin.  Continued stress will eliminate it.  Read more: http://ow.ly/B3Wd30jHunz

“Rest.” –Tommy Nelson @dentonbible Read more: http://ow.ly/B3Wd30jHunz

Be aware of your culture.  “Our culture produces stress like sweets produce decay.” –Tommy Nelson @dentonbible

Be aware of yourself. “Quite often people fall into this out of feelings of great responsibility.” –Tommy Nelson  @dentonbible

At times, a prolonged season of stress can impact the rest of our entire lives. – Christine Wilson @taketimetothinktime http://ow.ly/B3Wd30jHunz

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Think Time 3DR Process

We have a serious problem.  We are losing valuable time.  We have created an innovative process that helps people to dream big, get more time for what matters most, and become who they want to be.

Find out how Think Time can help you achieve your goals while improving your life balance at think-time.com.

Shop Purpose Planners here.

 

 

Just Start the Conversation

Have you run into a friend and heard yourself say, “Hey, we should get together sometime!”
You run into them a year later.  “Yah, we should do that sometime.”
Years pass, and you know you would love to get to know them better, but you never do anything.
And more years pass.
It could be family.  It could be friends.  It could be like-minded side-hustlers or colleagues.
You just feel a connection and want to hang out.
The next time you sense this pull to connect, recognize that you were designed to live life in connection with others.
One of my favorite authors Dr. Henry Cloud, says “Our brain runs on three things: oxygen, glucose, and relationships.”
Our biology screams for connection, and we literally break down when we fail to honor this important facet of ourselves.
Here’s my suggestion: The next time you run into someone that you want to hang out with, just start the conversation.
“Hey, I’d love to get together sometime.  What days/times work for you?”
And, then, (if they also think it is a good idea) put something on the calendar–right then, if you can.
You can always move it later, but putting things that are important to you on the calendar is part of living your purpose.
Don’t go years without building relationships and seeing people you love.
 
Just start the conversation.
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Christine M. Wilson, LPC
Co-Founder, Think Time
“You were designed to live life in connection with others.”  – Christine Wilson @thinktimetweets
Years pass…but you never see them.
Just start the conversation.
“Our brain runs on three things: oxygen, glucose, and relationships.” -Henry Cloud @drhenrycloud
“Hey, I’d love to get together sometime.  What days/times work for you?”
Putting things that are important to you on the calendar is part of living your purpose.

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Think Time 3DR Process

We have a serious problem.  We are losing valuable time.  We have created an innovative process that helps people to dream big, get more time for what matters most, and become who they want to be.

Find out if Think Time is a fit for you at think-time.com.

The 80/20 Rule

One question I get often is, “Can you explain the 80/20 Rule?”

At Think Time, as we help people focus on what matters most, we use the 80/20 rule in all of our systems.

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The one thing I can say about the 80/20 Rule is that when you get it…you GET it.  And, you will never go back.

There is an interesting history behind it, but the Big Idea is that it teaches us to look at activities—not for how much effort we put into them, but for the results that flow from them.  Do they move the needle toward our goals?

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We can work really hard at something that doesn’t return a lot of results.  We can also strategically place small, targeted efforts toward something that yields enormous results.

This is the tip that helps us to stop spinning our wheels and start making traction.

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Why is it named “The 80/20 Rule?”  The rule derives its name from the discovery that in life about 20% of our activities generate 80% of our results.  The converse is also true.  About 80% of our activities yield only 20% of our results.

80 20 Rule

The 80/20 Rule is regularly used in business training to boost profits and skyrocket results.  For instance, salespeople regularly use this rule to close more deals.  If about 80% of sales come from 20% of the customers, then calling the list in alphabetical order from top to bottom will not be as fruitful as taking a moment to identify the high yielding 20% and to contact them first.  Less effort yields more results with the 80/20 Rule.

At Think Time, we are big on results—not only professional results but also personal and relational results.  So, we apply the 80/20 Rule to everything from creating agendas and budgets at work to household responsibilities and even our relationships.

Following are some examples of how the 80/20 Rule may integrate with your daily life.  A 20% activity is an activity that yields HIGH RESULTS.  An 80% activity yields LOW RESULTS–no matter how much effort you exert.

Here we go!

A 20% activity could be taking  a few minutes at the beginning of the day to identify your key priorities and to purge potential obstacles to accomplishing them.  Top performers do this every day because it yields such great results.  This move changes every action following it.

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An 80% activity could be trying to complete “everything” on your list.  Remember that all of your activities are not high-yielding and often “good” activities steal time from the best.

A 20% activity could be having a clear agenda created and floating it by everyone before a meeting.  This simple step maximizes the minutes during the meeting, prevents running over due to sloppy discussions, and prevents countless add-on e-mail interchanges after the meeting.

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An 80% activity may be always saying “yes” when someone stops by your desk to say, “Gotta minute?”

At home, a 20% activity could be training your toddlers to clean up.  You are not only getting the toys cleaned, but you are building a sense of responsibility into a citizen of the world.

An 80% activity could be picking up your four year old’s toys again and again and again.  You are exhausted.  They feel good while their character worsens.  Their future co-workers will wish you had required them to pick up after themselves.  And, as a cherry on top, you will get to do it all over again tomorrow.

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An 80% is telling your kids to be kind to each other—unkindly.   

A 20% activity is modeling kindness in tone and action while teaching.  

If your spouse’s love language is “words of affirmation,” it may be an 80% to clean the dishes to show them you love them.  In this instance, a 20% activity may be instead writing a specific, heartfelt compliment.  

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My final example will be a counselor joke:

“How many counselors does it take to change a lightbulb?”

“Just one – but the light bulb has to really want to change.”

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Trying to help someone who does not want to change is an 80%.  Targeting my effort to invest in someone who is wanting to grow: 20%.

By using the 80/20 Rule as part of deciding what goes onto your calendar, you will never have to wonder if you are focusing on the most important thing again. 

Add the 80/20 Rule to your daily decisions and transform your life.

Does this help?

Please comment below and let me know!

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Christine Wilson, LPC

Co-Founder Think Time

 

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We have a serious problem.  We are losing valuable time.  We have created an innovative process that helps people clarify their vision so they can live their lives focused on what matters most.  

Shop Think Time today!

Blog Highlights:

Look at activities—not for how much effort we put into them, but for the results that flow from them.

Do my activities move the needle toward my goals?

About 20% of our activities generate 80% of our results.

All of our activities are not high-yielding and often “good” activities steal time from the best.

Use the 80/20 Rule.  You will never have to wonder if you are focusing on the most important thing again.